You're in the mood and your partner
is ready, so you make a beeline to the bed with plans to rock the sheets. But
then you feel it—a dull ache, an itchy rash, or a searing out-of-nowhere jab.
When you've always enjoyed sex and suddenly it hurts, it can be confusing and
worrisome. "Pain during sex is one of the most common things patients ask
about, but most of the time, it's caused by something temporary that can be
treated," says Alyssa Dweck, MD, an OB/GYN in Westchester, New York and
coauthor of V Is for Vagina. In fact, the American Congress of Obstetricians
and Gynecologists says that 75% of women experience painful sex at some point
in their lives. Get a handle on what's keeping you sidelined from the sack by
reading this checklist of symptoms, then the solution that will get you back in
the saddle again.
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The
outside of your vagina is crazy-irritated
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Possible cause: Personal care products. This isn't the kind
of burning love anyone hopes to experience. But if irritation and redness on
your outer labia or vulva are keeping you from enjoying the action, blame a bad
reaction on a personal care product that made contact with the area—such as
soap, body wash, massage oil, or even your toilet paper. "Dyes, perfumes,
and other additives in these products can trigger vaginitis, or inflammation of
the skin around the vagina," says Dr. Dweck.
Get back in the sack: Speed healing by leaving the area
alone for a day or two until the irritation subsides. (Dabbing on a lotion or
cream can just make the inflammation worse.) Then, take inventory of the
products you use below the belt and swap out items with chemical additives for
all-natural ones.
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It
itches or stings down there, and there's discharge
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Possible cause: An infection.Discharge can be a tip-off that
an infection is causing the pain. The tricky part: figuring out which infection
is putting the brakes on your sex life. If the discharge is white, thick, and
super itchy, it's probably a yeast infection, an
overgrowth of the yeast that normally colonize the vagina, says Dr. Dweck.
Another possibility: bacterial vaginosis, which typically has a grayish, watery
discharge and a fishy odor. Then there are STDs such as gonorrhea or chlamydia,
which often have zero signs but can cause pelvic pain and a greenish-yellow
discharge.
Get back in the sack: Check in with your doctor, advises . Though an over-the-counter antifungal cream can cure a yeast infection,
it's best to rule out something more serious right away. Your doc will
prescribe an antibiotic for whatever ails you.
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You're
clamped shut
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Possible cause: Vaginismus. If penetration has gone from
painful to downright impossible because your vagina is shut tight, it may
signal a little-known condition called vaginismus, says Rachel Dardik, MD,
associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at NYU Langone
Medical Center. Characterized by painful, involuntary contraction of the
vaginal muscles, the cause is a mystery, though it may be the result of past
trauma, like sexual abuse. "It's like your vagina has put up a 'do not
enter' sign," lol.
Get back in the sack: Ask your doctor specifically about
vaginismus—otherwise, she might just blow it off as anxiety or stress. That
would be a shame, because vaginismus is real, and it's definitely treatable.
"We teach women exercises that help them relax the pelvic floor muscles,
which can help a great deal,"
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It
feels dry.
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Possible causes: Stress, drugs, or hormones. Vaginal dryness
is one of the most common reasons women say they aren't feeling it during sex.
Many things can cause it, such as stress, anxiety, or taking meds like antihistamines, which dry
out mucus membranes, "It can also be the result of the
normal drop in estrogen levels after childbirth, during breastfeeding, or as
you approach perimenopause and menopuase.
Get back in the sack: Get things gliding again by using a
silicone-based motion lotion to supplement your natural lubrication until
stress lifts or estrogen production cranks back up. If it's perimenopause- or
menopause-related, the estrogen dip may be permanent. But dryness doesn't have
to be, so ask your doctor about options, like using a prescription vaginal
estrogen cream.
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